I’ve been instructed to share
the content of my personal journal online. Apparently, it might be helpful for
some of you out there. Anything in between parentheses is added for
clarification.
Now, I’ll get on with it, and
hopefully, I’ll be able to decipher my own hand-writing.
‘As I ended the dance of
gratitude, I stood still under a semi-clouded, moon lit dome of early morning
celestial obscurity. As I usually do at this point, I uttered the first Om (of
the series of Oms and mantras I usually use for inner-alignment and attunement
purposes), when all of a sudden I began feeling and hearing a sound vibration
that was rising and spreading through me. It sounded just like a didgeridoo -I
had really never been into didgeridoos.
Within me, the sound moved up,
down, expanded, retracted, intensified, grew louder, and then fainter, and
louder again, and fainter again, for what seemed to be a good 30 seconds. As
this was a very new experience for me, I was greatly surprised, a bit nervous,
curious, so I went for another Om. Sure enough the sound vibration followed.
This time I was a bit more
anchored through my feet, my eyes were opened. The whole world started
resonating with this vibration. It was as if it was coming from everything and
everywhere, (or anywhere I turned my attention). This second experience lasted
longer. Its after-effects took a couple of minutes to fade.
I repeated the Om a third time
(obviously, how could I resist?). This time my whole body started shaking. I
felt heat waves traveling up, down and through me, along with a lot of tingling
sensations. Through bare feet, I consciously anchored myself to the ground on
which I stood. It seemed as if the whole building beneath me was resonating with
that deep ‘fat’ revolving sound. In fact everything around was resonating at
various levels of intensity. (It was like being in a 3D environment made of
this sound vibration).
At this point, there were
streams of tears coming out my eyes. My ‘heart’ (or should I say my loving,
connecting, embracing aspect of self, which seemed to be linked to my chest)
felt insanely expanded. This third bout lasted for I do not know how long. (It
seemed to be a kind of ‘forever thing’ that is hard to measure). Afterwards, I
stood there for a while, facing east, staring into nothing in particular.
I was about to go back into my
apartment, when I got the idea of trying out some of the mantras I usually work
with. (These mantras come from the Kali Kula branch of Tantra). They have been
part of my life for a little over a year now, along with certain mudras and
bandhas that my body expresses in very instinctual, seemingly random and
somewhat unconscious ways (basically while I’m not intentionally practicing
them).
As I uttered the bija mantras,
they seemed to be ignited and intensified at very specific locations within me.
I had to go slow, because each mantra brought back the shaking and the heat
waves. But also, I had to go slow, because (and this was very new for me), each
sound would lead to a geometric form of flickering light that would surround
me. Also, each sound would either move me (literally) upwards or downwards
from, or out of, my physical body, which (besides being quite the experience)
allowed me to find out that these forms were 3-dimensional, and that I was at
their center.
Each geometric form was
interlinked, interconnected and intersected by other geometric forms, in a way
that seemed to hold everything together.
Each sound gave form to a
specific arrangement not only of configurations and shapes, but also of colors.
I had to stop after a while
because my vision (in relation to the real palpable world) was becoming very
blurry. (A few hours later, actually, as I write this, my vision is still
somewhat blurry).
Maybe I’m not using the right
term. My surroundings appear translucent, one could say ethereal. Almost
everything glows with various hues of colors, at various levels of intensity.
Looking at my body, I can see
bright beady, pearly lights of different sizes and levels of brightness (these
coincide to some degree with locations where acupressure points would be).
Some have different colors
than others. Water glows and shimmers, as if vibrantly full of activity.
I haven’t gone out yet, so I
do not know whether the experience will be the same, when I encounter other
people.
It’s all quite trippy, but
very different from LSD, Mashroom, DMT, Ayahuasca related experiences.
Certain physical symptoms that
go with it, such as the heat and tingling sensations remind me of experiences I
had in certain geographic locations I spent time in (Arunachala, a couple of
location in Mexico, and Byllakuppe’s Tibetan settlement in the Indian state of
Karnataka).
There is also the highly
intensified level of purging (as in apana-prana-related releases, or just
pooping –sorry) that follows this experience, which is similar to what was
experienced as I was approaching these same geographical locations (that I just
mentioned in the previous paragraph).
All and all, I’m still
digesting and processing.
I hope this sharing is useful
for someone out there, 'cause, even from this opened state of being that I find
myself in, it's quite a funny feeling when I open up this much.
May we all be healthy, joyful,
grounded, free, inspired and in love.
Update: broad daylight
restores vision to normalcy. If I go back into a dark area vision shifts back
to ethereal hues, colors, lines and dots, but not as clear as earlier.
We are One.
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