Inspiration...

comes at the least adequate of times, especially when I'm driving, words begin forming and flowing, the music is just right, and traffic isn't too bad. Then, I thought of Noelle and the protagonist of 'Y.' I thought of him especially, sitting in that cemetery, alone, in the middle of the night. I thought of him lighting up a cigarette, brand undetermined, and taking his first drag.
Inhale, inhale, and then hold, hold, and hold, make the moment last a little longer, feel her substance, the idea of her, the concept of the two of you, somewhere, once, together, let it fill your lungs, your throat, your belly, your mind, for just another second, you know that every flame has to die, and in the end, you always end up in darkness.
You're thinking of her, back then, and your mind is a jumble of memories, of textures, of emotional grooves and dips. Your mind is rolls and rolls and rolls of dialogues and impressions thrown all together in the most careless of ways, as if a storm had gone through your head.
Pull one, or pull the other, take a peak, you never know what will surface, a dip of cheek, the glow of her smile, the arch of an eyebrow, the grin, the wink, the subtlest set of wrinkles, happiness expressed, intimacy lived, sharing, accomplices lost in the game of passion, the glow of life, the gleaming reflection of daylight over the familiarity of her perfect skin, the play of shadows over her delicately shimmering features, the maddeningly sensuous look only she can give, the glow of life, the subtlety of intimacy...
You feel like melting, like falling in love over and over again, but the light goes and darkness settles in once again. Each visited memory of her is a matchstick lit in total despair, your hand is too shaky, and your way too lost. You glimpse joy, but behind, darkness and sorrow are always awaiting...
So I drove back home, and feeling ripe and fertile still, good for the mountain top, I turned on my laptop, put the right kind of music, and being all alone, a perfect setting for the hermit within, I signed in and began typing...
As for the picture, it was taken in Barcelona, at night.
Be well and if you can try to step out of your comfort zone -it might just be what you exactly need.


You take another drag, the tip glows, beyond that it is all darkness.