Dissatisfaction rules my world, and meanwhile...

Pro-life zealots harassing 'baby-killing doctors', cholera and flooding in Haiti, the middle-east is still a center of madness, and as the saying goes, 'as without as within,' for inside, I am chaos, restlessness, imperfection seeking that impossible opposite, like a snake swallowing its own tail. And although I have my suspicions, I cannot say with certainty that everyone is as messed up as I am. Then again, if the state of our little planet were to be used as an indicator, I might just be willing to bet that we're all in it together.

Dissatisfaction rules my world, but it doesn't have to be so. I have hope, which I guess is just the other side of the proverbial coin -dissatisfaction being the other, in case you're wondering. Nothing special about this. From the first chapters of our collective history, the myths of mankind have been pointing to this dogged inability of ours to settle for what is. From the biblical fall of Adam and Eve to almost every Greek melodrama. We always want more. We want perfection, but we are unable to recognize it, even it it smacked us right on the nose, let alone grasp it.

Happiness is so simple, so easy. Unfortunately, we, no I'll just speak for myself, I, seem to be faultily complex -code word for broken. We, no let's stick with I, might be a big time schizophrenic.

A door opened, I encountered the divine. The body, the heart, the soul and spirit, were all ecstatically basking in bliss. But, somewhere, somehow, in the shadows, in the depths of my darkest-self, guilt whispered, 'This cannot be.' It scuffed, 'You are nobody.' It rose, like a tidal wave that could neither be stopped nor denied and pointed a rigidly judgmental finger, 'You are nobody. Let go. Let go. Let go...'

But, I'd been here before. I'd danced this dance before. And while I seemed to be doing what was expected of me, Hope was rising like Apollo's sun disk, beckoning change, a wind that awakens, a barely noticeable breeze that carries the seed of transformation, the scent of the beloved...

Be well and if you feel lost and confused, know that you're not alone -there's a bunch of us, in fact, I think we might just be the majority.

Doing my best, I fell

P.S: It is okay to fall, because you can rise again, dust yourself up, and give life nothing less than your best once more.