Laptop dependency...

is a newly acquired charact- eristic of mine, so new, I hadn't bee aware of it until a couple of days ago when the Dell died on me. So I worried, and when I think of it, I am not sure what it is I worried about... Was it that endless stream of emails, coming from who knows where, most of the time, I feared not getting my share of? Or am I just a high-speed-wifi-web browsing junkie? A Facebook-cum-farmville addict?

Meanwhile, a journey is in the making, and how am I supposed to stay in touch with those I care about, as I get moving, home becoming a distant beacon, although close to the heart, until I am drawn back, if not with the magic connectivity of the net? Life is complicated, surprisingly unexpected, so we plan, and do, and wait for doors to open, for pathways to appear, for our destinies to unfold.

So do your thing, do you thing, from the heart, fearless, hopeful, the rest will come, the rest will come.

A whirlwind in a glass of water

Resisting

holding back, or pushing to get this and that, moved by fluctuating agendas, carried by a flood of goals preceding goals, a geyser of wants and desires, I lose myself in meaningless pursuits, ignoring the whispered songs of wisdom, left by every teacher of Peace and Liberation, echos from the past, "Fully present, accept; Fully aware, Go with the flow; Always embrace compassion, Always thrive to be of service, Don't take yourself too seriously..." Echos from the heart, like raindrops seeking the ocean, returning to the heart. Ripples of joy, Ripples of bliss, Ripples of love. But the heart is busy, and the mind is restless. Once again, Stillness is avoided, and the storm is allowed to going on raising dust, raising doubt and confusion. A choice is made with each breath, a choice is made, while the teachers' of better ways, from times forgotten, from places unknown, go on throwing pebbles at our windows, may we listen, may we awaken.
Be well, and if you can give a moment to yourself.
Seeking, always seeking

Inconsistency

knows where to find me, knows my weaknesses, hits me hard, and laughs at my reactions. Meanwhile, I try to hide in sweet routine, a life of activities tightly crammed, one against the other, an infinite line of 'I'll do this, I'll do that...' But the over-achiever is a helpless perfectionist, rarely satisfied, doubtful, prone tempestuous mood swings that could inspire the design of a seriously eye-popping, adrenaline-gushing roller coaster, with too many vertiginous peaks, followed by unfathomably depressing depths.

Some say, "The secret of happiness is contentment," the phrase rolling so easily out of their tongues. Some say, "Life will teach you many a thing about yourself." Some say, "Travel will open your eyes, widen your perspective, lead you to understanding."
I say, I've tried. I say, I'm still trying. I say, I'm unhappiness incarnate, breathing melancholy, walking nostalgia, a professional brooder, an emotional whirlwind, too many lows, too many highs, a pain to live with, the saddest jester, the worn traveler, the most impatient dreamer you'll ever come to meet, basically a work in progress...

Be well, and hang in there.